Life on the Edge of the Comfort Zone
A while ago, I read a sentence that deeply resonated with me:
“Life begins at the edge of your comfort zone.”
But how willing am I to leave my comfort zone? Am I truly living?
Many times I’ve pondered since that moment, wondering when and to what extent I’ve been willing to leave my comfort zone. It’s an important question because we all aspire to truly live, not merely exist, right?
In this world where we try to protect everything and everyone from unexpected inconveniences, why would we ever want to step out of our comfort zones?
When we insure everything, what are we communicating to the world and to ourselves? That we’re ready for adventures? That we trust life? Not exactly…
Instead, we’re sending the message that we want to be the ones controlling life’s events. We aim to be prepared and foresighted, to eliminate unexpected discomforts and unforeseeable tragedies. Yet, usually, just when we feel we’re in control, when our family runs like clockwork, when we’re at peak efficiency at work, when we’ve scheduled our thrice-a-week runs, and when we ensure we connect with someone different each day — that’s precisely when the unexpected strikes. Life has a way of pushing us out of our comfort zone, especially when we’ve grown too complacent within our familiar boundaries.
As uncomfortable as this may be, it’s exactly as it should be. Our life remains vibrant as long as it’s not entirely predictable or meticulously planned. If it ever becomes so, it’d become rigid, like Michelangelo’s David — magnificent, but hardly alive. We shouldn’t aim for a life set in marble.
Stepping out of our comfort zone can lead us to deeper human connections, more fulfilling work, and a greater understanding of our children. It brings us closer to our true selves, and through this, to our own destiny and an authentic life. After all, we’re here to live our own destiny. And the path to it is through the signals from our heart, not through overthinking and absolute security.
Sometimes, there’s no choice but to leap from the safe into the uncertain, and often, we start to fall. Usually, a safety net catches us. We discover the profound love of our partner, the attentiveness of our child’s kindergarten teacher, or the incredible lengths our best friend would go for us. It might even be unexpected help from a stranger or growing closer to our parents by revealing our vulnerabilities, allowing them to do the same. Unexpected coincidences can also provide a safety net. In the end, anything can happen… and by anything, I mean positive outcomes too.
I reflected on the times I stepped out of my comfort zone and what happened then. Once, I ended a long-term relationship akin to a marriage because I was unhappy, plunging myself into the unknown. This led to a bond of real intimacy, which later helped me through the toughest of times. Even though this bond was tragically severed by illness and death, I learned immeasurably from it. There’s no doubt that I found myself outside my comfort zone again.
Another time, I refused to meet demands at my well-paying, secure job as they clashed with my values and resigned. Another leap into the unknown followed. Starting my own business, switching to a more creative career path. It was challenging but vibrant, lively, and colorful. Thankfully, I had a brave and supportive partner, my husband, to whom I owe so much.
And when the latest two adopted dogs came into our lives, once again, we found ourselves outside our comfort zone. We had the choice to walk past these two needy animals or stand up for our values and take them in. Deciding to, we had no idea how to integrate them into our already large family of pets. It wasn’t smooth, but it was worth it. Our home might be far from elegant, and dog hair might always be lurking somewhere, but I doubt many homes are more full of life and laughter than ours.
I’ve learned the lessons, even if uncertainty and pain were my teachers at times. Following my heart and standing up for what I find valuable keeps me alive. Otherwise, the boundaries of my life solidify, and I risk becoming as lifeless as a statue.
I know it’s not always easy. I’ve retreated a thousand times from a thousand decisions, and I’ve made compromises that suffocated my soul. Sadly, I still do, though less often now. I have learned that in the end, I have to stand up for myself, and the longer I wait, the harder it becomes.
To avoid stifling our souls, we must understand our core values — those we cannot compromise on — and recognize the areas where flexibility is possible.
– Eszter
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So relevant Eszter. I had a dear brother who could bravely walk out on air, if required. He passed too early in his life. But anything I've learned about stepping into uncertainty, I've learned from him, from his courageous spirit. Thank you for this post. It heartens me!
Btw, where are the triborder mountains? I found many examples in a search.
Ah yes, the Dreaded Comfort Zone. If we were all content and comfy with where we are at and who we are, there would be no need for posts like this one. Yet, since we're not, and we feel out of place, never at home, never at peace, sleepless or sleep-challenged, prone to addictions and distractions, susceptible to all manner of diseases, lethargic, bored, dull, content with ABBA, etc., then it's high time we paid attention to every post like this one we can get our gnarled fingers on. Bravo, Eszter–Subscribed! Looking forward to more; love the way you think.