Eszter's Weekly Elephant: Issue #11
Welcome to the eleventh issue of Eszter’s Weekly Elephant! We hope your week has been pleasant so far! Let's dive into this week's issue!
Just the other night, before falling asleep, I sat on the bed staring blankly ahead, closing off the day within myself. As I let my gaze drift half-unconsciously over the bedroom decor, I couldn’t help but smile. Among our numerous decorations, which I adore, more than half — in fact, nearly three-quarters — are handmade items. We have items like cross-stitched embroideries, crocheted bedspreads, and wall hangings, some of which I made and others crafted by different artisans. We also have hand-carved or ceramic sculptures, framed photographs from the film and development era, hand-knotted rugs, candle holders carved from mango wood, and a mouse statue sewn together from various textiles by a textile artist.
I remember when we came home after a long time and entered the untouched º+, the bedroom hit both of us with such energy as we stepped in. Tears came to my eyes because I found the room so beautiful. Don’t think it was about some wonderfully, professionally designed space filled with harmoniously matching furniture and artworks carefully chosen to complement the colors of the room. Our bedroom is more eclectic – and I use the word "eclectic" euphemistically. Yet, despite the apparent disorder, these handmade objects, into which so much work, love, thought, and attention have been woven, carved, and shaped, fill the room with energy like mini reactors. I will always be grateful to those creators who make such beautiful objects and imbue them with so much love and energy that, long after they have left their hands and adorn someone's shelf or wall, they still continuously radiate this positive energy, just as the Sun radiates light and warmth.
I myself also enjoy making things by hand. Mostly cross-stitched embroideries, whose designs I acquire from talented textile designers or my own invented small to large crochet projects, and occasionally, I also draw or paint our dogs' portraits.
Once, I saw photos of a funeral where relatives and friends brought the patchwork quilts the deceased aunt had made for them. They spread them over the back of every pew, so those walking towards the coffin could view the aunt's creations as if walking through an exhibition. I think this is a wonderful and touching idea. What better way to show someone's personality, to make their energy felt, than through objects they have created by hand with countless hours of work and attention?
When we returned home after several years away, our house felt incredibly alive even though it had been virtually unvisited for years, not filled with life energy. Our handmade objects, left to themselves during our absence, like tiny reactors, continuously charged the rooms with vitality. We had slowly become accustomed to this energy while we were home, hardly noticing it anymore, so it was a huge surprise to see how alive and beautiful everything was when we arrived.
I know we have limited time and for many of us, financial resources are tight when it comes to home decor. Not everyone can afford to buy and restore hand-carved antique furniture, nor do many have time to crochet a wall hanging. Therefore, we opt for mass-produced IKEA products or printed objects that look like paintings, or ceramics churned out on a production line. But I feel that these items will never have the wonderful energy of pieces that someone has crafted by hand. Just like a hand-polished antique diamond has a completely different energy than a modern, laser-cut version.
All in all, what I want to say is that it's worth paying attention to acquiring things for our homes that are the careful realizations of ideas from the minds of talented artists, because these objects elevate our homes to a different level.
From the above, I am sure it's clear to everyone that I am not a fan of minimalist interior design. At one point, my husband found this bothersome, but fortunately, there's no conflict over this anymore; he has resigned himself to having a wife who likes knick-knacks.
Although I understand those who love minimalist interior design, ever since I sat next to a Norwegian colleague at a business dinner who said that, amidst a living room overrun by Fisher-Price hell and two kids, he longs for nothing more than to sit down in a living room where there is nothing but a sofa, a coffee table, and a TV. While I understand the appeal of minimalist design, I need to be surrounded by objects when I sit down in an armchair or on the sofa. Not just a few objects, but those on which my eyes can rest and from which I can recharge, whether because I am in awe of the creator’s creativity and craftsmanship or because I made them and I am proud of myself, if for nothing else, for my perseverance in managing to complete 32 times 305 crochet stitches, which is, after all, 9,760 stitches.
With life continuously buzzing around us and our rescued dogs hardly settling down for a minute—playing, chewing, rolling around—I hadn't previously noticed to such an extent how much the handmade objects add to the energy in our environment. I've always loved them, but as we arrived at the "dormant" house, both of us were struck by the energy accumulated in our absence. It was not aired out, dust sat on everything, but these wonderful objects created by the hands of talented people still "shone" in such a way that we felt we had arrived at some kind of sacred place. And if you think about it, that's exactly what happened.
True creativity is a “profoundly spiritual activity”, as my fellow Substacker
wrote in a comment under one of my essays, and he was very right. Creation is nothing but the pouring of energy, which does not yet exist on the physical plane, into physical form. This is alchemy of the highest order. For a creation to be beautiful, to be harmonious, to be magical, it must contain a pinch of divine or universal energy. Since this divine, universal energy is infinite, it's no wonder that the objects into which skillful hands have woven, drawn, carved, painted this energy really are like tiny reactors. They have endless energy, embodying the beauty, harmony, and the solid form of divine energy. They glow like fireflies in the dark.As a writer, I myself know that when I manage to weave this energy into a story, then that story becomes imbued with magic. It speaks to anyone who connects even slightly to God, the universe, fate, or whatever we choose to call it.
Thousands of shades, symbols, and details converge, often beyond my control, into a perfect, harmonious whole. This unity speaks to each reader differently, touching them in the precise way they need.
I believe that this magic is the real purpose of human existence. We all long to make visible, tangible a tiny part of eternity and to show it off proudly, happily, like a child shows a glowing firefly in his or her hand, to ourselves and to the world. That's why we writers so crave feedback from readers and why craftsmen who manage to sell their works are so incredibly happy after every sale.
Creativity allows us to manifest the divine in the physical world, weaving universal energy into our works. These creations then enrich, transform, and elevate all who engage with them. And this is the real wonder of creativity, and this is what Dostoevsky was talking about when he said, "Beauty will save the world." If you're interested in why I think he was right, then read my next essay as well:
Beauty Will Save the World! – Why Was Dostoevsky Right?
I must confess that for a long time, I struggled with creative blocks. Back when I first lived abroad in Paris at the age of twenty-one, I had the chance to look at myself from a distance. Freed from the usual role I had become so accustomed to playing in my family since childhood, I realized that my heart wanted to take a different path than the one th…
So, I would encourage everyone to create themselves and to seek out artists, craftsmen whose work they admire. Give them feedback, recommend them to others, so that more people can see, touch, connect with these tiny reactors and bask in their energy.
With that, I'll start the list. Before we move on to this week's topics, here are a few creators among my favorites, without claiming completeness, because the full list would be very long. On these websites, you'll find creations spanning a range of prices, from affordable to more expensive. These are not affiliate links, just a list of some artists whose work I adore. Receive this list with a lot of love and if you feel like it, add your favorites in the comments!
Now let's move on to our topics for this week!
This week, our article discusses a frequently occurring flawed attitude that many families struggle with. I often hear about how this or that family member is problematic, what they should be doing better or differently, or what they should improve about themselves. Or, if the individual is a minor, how the parents should handle their child's problem. However, things are not as simple as they seem. To understand the appropriate attitude and how we can effectively improve the situation for the entire family in case of a problem, read the article!
The Family is not a Lawnmower!
If a lawnmower doesn’t work because the spark plug is broken, we replace the faulty part, and it can hum in the garden again. But what if a family member “breaks down”? What if our child starts getting bullied at school, or the mother becomes an alcoholic, or the father has a gastric hemorrhage? Is changing schools, removing alcohol, or patching up the s…
Related to this article, it's worth reading an older post about the "Fat Kid Syndrome," which discusses the relationship between the problematic family member and the family's subconscious agreements. What the Fat Kid Syndrome is – which is not the same as the black sheep phenomenon, because while the former accepts and adopts the role imposed by the family, the black sheep actively rebels against the established order – is revealed in the article.
The "Fat Kid" Syndrome
Why is it possible that most of the family is fine, but one family member constantly struggles with weight, illness, failure, or financial difficulties? What exactly is the “fat kid” syndrome? A few years ago, I remember sitting at the airport, observing the people around me, when a family appeared. Everyone had a normal physique, except for a boy around fourteen who clearly had a significant weight problem.
In the "Beyond the Book" section this week, we took a closer look at one of Oscar Wilde's novels, "The Picture of Dorian Gray," from a unique perspective. I examined the novel as if each character were a facet of Dorian Gray's personality. This viewpoint is interesting because, as therapists often say regarding dreams and fairy tales, we fully grasp a story's message only when we see every character as a reflection of ourselves, or rather, an aspect of our personality. Those curious about what the novel says from this analytical perspective should read the essay!
Beyond the Book: The Portrait of Dorian Gray – Oscar Wilde
It was Oscar Wilde who provided me with the first significant literary experience that I did not start reading because of the well-known school reason of "I must read it because it's compulsory." It was my father who handed me the story of ‘The Canterville Ghost
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Thanks for the mention, Eszter. As you might surmise, I agree with you on all this. I also think that being surrounded by things that people have made with care and love connects us to those people, our friends or ancestors, our community. Their creations are imbued with their spirit. This is why it's so sad when they are swept away.